"What's the hardest part about speaking to churches?"
"Well, it used to be vulnerability. I didn't and couldn't share the deepest part of me. I couldn't be honest with myself- much less a congregation. I yearned to ask people if they struggled like me. Now-a-days, though, I'm more than willing to share my shame and my mistakes. It's not easy, but I know that I'm not the only one out there struggling. And this kind of leads to what's hard for me.
With my sharing there is also judgment. I'm an imperfect Christian and I make mistakes, just like everyone. I know I'm not alone, yet when I share my story or my addictions and sins some will act like no one else struggles with the same thing or like they've never struggled with it. I've been told that my story is moving but 'maybe you should work on overcoming your sin before you preach on it and declare your addiction.'
Because of this there is still this deep-seated fear of judgment from the congregation. So I guess I always second guess myself. Like- should I share this? Will they think bad of me or judge me? I've learned to push past it but it's always in the back of my mind."