“I was a very young mom. I had Sierra at 20, Victoria at 22, and Nigel II just shy of 24. My dream about ministry ended, I thought, once I migrated to the United States. I was 14 with dreams for my future, but soon those dreams dissipated. I overstayed here in the country and became undocumented. I was already a senior in my country of St. Lucia, and although I finished high school here and had hopes of going into medicine to be a neurosurgeon, the system quickly let me know that the buck stopped at high school. Without the legal status all dreams were shattered.
As the realization that doors were closing now instead of opening and because of the immense pain I was experiencing from trauma and separation, I resorted to survival and church. My first marriage came at a young age, 19, and although it wasn’t perfect, three amazing children were born and the new responsibility of parenting became my world. Ministry was the home, Christian education, and church service. There was no other option. 10 years ago my close friend and sister, Sabine, along with some youth leaders called ‘Angels,’ and Dr. Cleghorne- our youth director at the time- had this crazy dream that ministry was calling. I knew it and felt strongly about it, but all of the obstacles seemed to outweigh the dream. Sabine and I had experienced so many miracles together which defied my undocumented status. The plan was for us to be roommates at the Seminary, but I didn't have the faith then to be bold and just go. I now thought about my kids- how I would provide for them as a single parent and the ‘how’ it would happen. The divorce didn't make things better because of the stigma placed on us by certain church cultures that life is over at divorce, and especially the acceptance to be in ministry. With a broken life, illegal existence, and now a broken family, all the odds were against me. With the message that I would not be a good witness for Jesus, I pulled out of applying to Andrews even though the application was filled out.
Sabine went ahead, and I just vowed to serve outside of Seminary. I was ok with that. I focused on my children and their lives while giving back to the community, but the fire was still there. It burned ferociously at times, reminding me that once lit I could not put it out. I had a second chance at this family thing through remarriage. It turned out the same as the first, but now with the words from my ex that I was a ‘Jesus Brat’ and that He spoiled me. Not too encouraging or affirming, so I killed that relationship with Christ to appease the marriage. But the fire was still burning.”