“I have always known that I am a sinner in need of God, but I have never felt my inadequacy as deeply as I do now trying to raise two beautiful young boys. I want to be a perfect mother, but I see myself failing daily. I am impatient and sometimes I even yell at them. I pray for help because I already know that I can’t do it on my own. I pray, ‘Jesus, show Yourself to my kids through me. Let them see You and feel Your love for them through my actions.’ Then I fail again! Like Paul says, I do the things I don’t want to do.
Which brings me to this story: several weeks ago my four-year-old son woke up talking excitedly about Jesus. I asked him if he had dreamed about Jesus or if he was just thinking about Him. He said that he had dreamed about Jesus. A long conversation followed where he told me all about his dream. My son told me that Jesus was very strong and was building us a new house in heaven. He said that Jesus was so strong He could carry all the bricks and wood that He needed. He could carry the bed and the couch at the same time!
I asked my son what Jesus looked like. For some reason this is important to adults and I wanted to know. He said Jesus wears ‘floppy clothes’ like my dresses. Then he said that Jesus was very bright and shiny. I was still questioning in my mind if my young son had actually seen these things, so I asked if Jesus had a beard like Daddy or no beard. He said that he didn’t know, because Jesus’ face was so bright that he couldn’t see it. But he said Jesus did have short hair on his head. I was floored! My husband and I have never talked about Jesus looking like this description, and all the Bible story books show a bearded white guy as Jesus. He couldn’t have been making it up. Plus, he was so excited.
Then he blew me away again. He said that Jesus’ light bounced off of Him in ‘sparkles’ like embers. These sparkles fell on my son and made him feel warm. Jesus’ light was so bright that my son could see red light coming from inside Jesus’ chest and skin ‘like when you shine a flashlight on your hand.’ He said that Jesus is hotter than a normal person and made him feel very warm when He hugged him. My son asked me, ‘Where does all of Jesus’ light come from?’ I told him that Jesus is made of light because He is good and powerful. Then my son told me that in the beginning of his dream, Jesus died. A few weeks before this dream he learned that Jesus died, and he cried and cried about it. I didn’t tell him about Jesus’ death until recently because he’s so sensitive to these things. One of his grandmas died of cancer about a year and half ago and he remembers her and her death well. He said he watched Jesus die and Jesus’ light rolled into a ball and fell on the floor. Then, later, Jesus woke up, picked up the ball of light, and pushed it into His chest and was shiny again!
I had been crushed when I watched my little boy cry and cry about Jesus’ death. He had screamed at me, ‘Death is forever!’ and I couldn’t find the words to explain to his young brain that Jesus came back to life. But Jesus saw my inadequacies and He not only showed my young son that He was alive, but He showed Him in a way that let him know Jesus is the same person that He was before His death. Then came the part of his dream where he said that Jesus went to heaven to build us a house. He said when Jesus was far away He made a hugging motion and rolled it up and tossed it at my son, because that’s how He hugs people who are far away. My son said he also made a hug and a kiss and threw them back to Jesus because ‘I love Him! I love Him so much!’ He said that he woke up very warm and happy because of all the ‘Jesus warm.’
It blows my mind how much Jesus loves my four-year-old son—that He would show Himself to my son in a dream or a vision- I don’t know which! I believe this was Jesus Himself. It brings me to tears to think that Jesus personally came to my son to hug him and love him. My son did not understand that Jesus could die and live again. But Jesus found a way to help him understand that He is alive! What an incredible reminder that my son has his own purpose in his life. And no matter how much I struggle and fail as a parent, Jesus can fill in where I lack. I asked Jesus to show His love to my sons through me, but He answered my prayer in an even better way. Even weeks later my son talks about this dream and how much he loves Jesus and Jesus loves him!”