"Sometimes it's really hard to go to church. With my job on second shift it's hard to wake up early enough to go to the early service, and I can't go to the late service because of all the different perfumes and colognes. With my allergies and sensitivites as bad as they are I end up hacking and coughing through the service. I miss the entire message and bother the people around me. It's so hard- and that's just the physical aspect of going to church. Mentally I'd rather sleep in and read the Bible at home then face all the different people at church. People are scary.
When I was about ten or eleven I was made to touch a now-ex-family-member's private parts. I repressed the memory for years, but after that I instinctively became afraid of everyone. He was family. If I can't even trust family, how can I trust a stranger? Everyone looks like a wolf in sheep's clothing to me and it's scary. I've learned a lot about trusting others and trusting God, but it has been a long road. While my faith in God is stronger than ever, I still find it hard to go to church. My fear has been the hardest thing for me to overcome, but by reading the Bible and studying the story of Esther I have slowly begun to. Through God everything is possible."